DR EVE: 'We need safe and meaningful relationships to survive'

Aubrey Masango interviews Dr. Eve, Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Expert.

Listen below.

4 September is World Sexual Health Day (WSHD), established in 2010. It acknowledges sexual health as a basic human right and aims to unite the global community in promoting sexual health and well-being.

Every year on 4 September, WSHD highlights a different theme.

The theme for 2024 is 'Positive Relationships' and Dr. Eve delves into the challenges many face in creating authentic, meaningful, and positive connections.

"A relationship is anything that is intimate – it could be between colleagues, it could be between peers, family members, siblings, friendships."

- Dr. Eve, Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Expert

Key elements of a healthy, positive, and safe relationship include:

• Support: Offering and receiving emotional and practical help.
• Companionship: Sharing experiences and creating memories together.
• Sense of Belonging: Feeling valued and integral within the relationship.
• Impact on Health: Significantly enhancing mental, emotional, and sexual well-being.
• Trust: Building and maintaining reliability and honesty.
• Mutual Respect: Valuing each other's dignity and boundaries.
• Communication: Engaging in open, honest, and respectful dialogue.
• Violence-Free: Ensuring safety from physical, emotional, and psychological harm.
• Commitment: Demonstrating dedication and loyalty to each other.
• Reciprocity: Offering and receiving in equal measure.
• Predictability: Providing stability and consistency.
• Passion: Nurturing enthusiasm and deep connection. 

Dr. Eve highlights a fundamental truth: our survival depends on meaningful relationships and authentic connections.

However, she points out that movies, novels, and social media often romanticise and idealise love and relationships, creating unrealistic expectations.

This distorted portrayal can lead to disillusionment and disappointment when real-life relationships don't measure up to these exaggerated ideals.

"There's a huge amount of pressure to be able to really have a relationship in which many of your needs are going to be met."

- Dr. Eve, Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Expert

Dr. Eve acknowledges that for individuals with trauma and PTSD, forming positive relationships can be particularly challenging.

She says this difficulty often stems from key emotional needs not being met during childhood or past experiences. This can lead to feeling unsafe in relationships and a fear of expressing one's needs.

People are often reacting to their past trauma but it is a pattern that can be changed. It may feel overwhelming, but one can learn to seek out and build positive relationships where one's needs are met.

Everyone deserves healthy, fulfilling relationships, and their struggles are a reflection of their experiences, not their worth, Dr. Eve adds.

Scroll up to the audio player to listen to the interview.