Excessive people pleasing to self-injury: How to spot self-destructive behaviour
A person suffering with negative thoughts and feelings may turn to self-destructive behaviours.
702’s Clement Manyathela speaks with Nkateko Ndala-Magoro, Counselling Psychologist
Listen below:
Self-destructive behaviours can take many forms.
Some are more obvious, such as suicide attempts, self-injury or drug and alcohol abuse.
Other behaviours are harder to pick up, such as negative self-talk, changing to please others, reckless spending, or clinging to someone who is not interested in you.
“People pleasing is very typical of self-destructive behaviour, and people do not realise that.”
- Nkateko Ndala-Magoro, Counselling Psychologist
Regardless of the way the behaviour is expressed, these behaviours harm you either physically or mentally.
Some people battling with self-destructive behaviour may not be aware of what they are doing, while others do it intentionally but are unable to control the urge.
This behaviour is often linked to mental health conditions, traumatic experiences, low self-esteem, and social isolation.
Ndala-Magoro says psychologists will consider the frequency, intensity, and impact of the behaviour to establish whether they need treatment.
If you believe someone you know is battling with these behaviours, she says the first thing to do is approach them in a gentle and non-judgemental way.
“You can point out the obvious behaviour which can be a window to make that person aware that it is becoming chronic.”
- Nkateko Ndala-Magoro, Counselling Psychologist
RELATED: When self-sabotage turns into self-harm
She adds that many people will not realise their behaviour is destructive until it impacts a significant area in their life such as their job, and a wake-up call from a loved one can help.
Something as simple as changing to positive self-talk can be a huge help in healing from self-destructive behaviour.
Scroll up to the audio player for more.