Saying no without guilt: A psychologist’s guide to protecting your peace at work

702's Gugs Mhlungu spoke to resident clinical psychologist, Dr Khosi Jiyane.

Listen to their conversation below.

Do you find it hard to say no to your boss or senior colleagues, even when you feel stressed or uncomfortable?

Jiyane points out that the way we interact with authority figures and how we’re brought up can influence this.

She explains that our struggle to say no often starts when we’re young, as we learn to respect authority and go along with what others want.

Jiyane emphasises that it's important to say no to protect your mental health.

To build confidence in setting boundaries at work, Jiyane offers the following practical tips:

• Recognise that ‘no’ is a full sentence. You don't need to justify every refusal. Assertiveness can be respectful and still firm.
• Understand the risk–reward balance. Saying no may feel risky, but not doing so often comes at a higher personal cost.
• Treat saying no as a muscle. It’s a skill you build with practice. Start small and build confidence through repetition.
• Accept that discomfort is part of the process. It won’t feel easy at first, especially if you’ve spent a lifetime deferring to others, but growth happens in the discomfort.
• Respect others' boundaries too. Learning to accept a ‘no’ without trying to change it is just as important as being able to give one.

"...sometimes we have to risk something and say, I'm going to risk the frown of others for the self of me."

- Dr Khosi Jiyane, clinical psychologist

Scroll up to listen to the full conversation