Social media platform helps SA mothers navigate maintenance court battles

A growing online platform is offering South African mothers guidance and support as they navigate what many describe as a frustrating and complex maintenance court system.

Heather O’Shea, founder of Divorce Recovery, has built a following of more than 70,000 people by sharing practical advice on securing child support, preparing court documents and dealing with uncooperative co-parents.

What started as a personal journey has evolved into a support network for parents struggling with the realities of divorce and maintenance claims.

“I started with my story,” O’Shea said. “People kept reaching out saying, ‘I’ve got this problem’. Then I realised this problem is huge, so we rolled up our sleeves and asked, ‘How do we help?’”

Turning personal experience into practical help

O’Shea, a mother of three who says she has been through multiple divorces and contested maintenance disputes, began by sharing her experiences online.

She believes the scale of divorce in society drives the demand for guidance.

“Divorce is a pandemic,” she said. “Everybody knows someone who’s either contemplating it, going through it, or divorced. The fallout affects maintenance, parenting plans, everything.”

Today, her platform responds to emails, hosts webinars and helps parents prepare maintenance applications and supporting documents before court.

Her core aim, she says, is education.

“The absolute premise of what we do is to educate; let’s help you fill out the forms correctly and get to the magic number, which is the cost of the child.”

Misconceptions about maintenance remain widespread

O’Shea says one of the most common misunderstandings is that maintenance should be split equally between parents.

“It can’t be 50-50,” she said. “Parents earn different salaries. You start with the cost of the child, then both parents contribute according to their means.”

She also says many parents are discouraged from pursuing claims due to fear of losing in court or confusion about the paperwork.

Others simply lack time and energy.

“By nine o’clock the house is quiet, you’re exhausted, overstimulated, and you can’t even think,” she said.

Courts focus on evidence, not emotion

According to O’Shea, many applicants enter court believing their personal history with their former partner will influence the outcome.

She says this is rarely the case.

“The courts don’t care about what broke the relationship,” she said. “They want to see evidence; the cost of the children and proof of those costs. Simple.”

To address this, Divorce Recovery helps parents compile structured evidence files similar to what attorneys prepare, including receipts, bank statements and rental agreements.

Frustrations with the maintenance system

O’Shea says delays, missing paperwork, postponed hearings, and absent respondents are common complaints among the mothers she assists.

She also claims some applicants receive poor advice from officials or feel pressured into accepting low-maintenance settlements.

“We get mothers who sit there all day, and the other parent doesn’t arrive, and they’re told there’s nothing the court can do,” she said.

“There’s a lot that can be done.”

Despite the challenges, she says proper preparation can significantly improve outcomes.

In one case she assisted, a mother previously receiving R500 in support secured R4,500 after presenting a full evidence file.

“That’s life-changing,” O’Shea said. “I go to bed with a smile on my face because the children benefit.”

Maintenance and access are separate legal issues

O’Shea also emphasises that payment disputes and parental access are legally separate matters.

“Maintenance is maintenance court. Access is family court,” she said.

“You can’t withhold support because you want more visitation.”

A support space beyond legal advice

While much of the platform’s work is procedural, O’Shea says emotional support remains a central part of what Divorce Recovery offers.

“It’s important that everybody gets heard,” she said. “That’s where it starts.”

For more details, listen to O’Shea using the audio player below: