Mama’s boy syndrome: Is it real or are you just projecting?

702’s Clement Manyathela is in conversation with Clinical and Sports Psychologist, Dr Tumi Mashego.

Listen below:

While a mother’s love is often celebrated, what happens when it becomes too consuming?

It can create a complex psychological dynamic known as the mama’s boy syndrome.

It describes a man who is unhealthily dependent on their mother, or caregiver, well into adulthood.

This can be the result of something that happened to the child at a young age or the mother projecting something onto the child.  

Signs of a mama’s boy include poor boundaries with regards to decision-making, time demands and finances.

“Whatever it is that happens in your childhood will determine who you interact with, it will impact your adult relationships, and how your personality is shaped.” 

– Dr Tumi Mashego, Clinical and Sports Psychologist

“Sadly, the society we live in, family systems are so broken… The mother becomes the centre… And unfortunately, because the mother could also be functioning from a place of pain… they can project certain things.” 

– Dr Tumi Mashego, Clinical and Sports Psychologist

Mashego says consulting with your mother can be normal, but there are boundaries.

What happens when she cannot give you an opinion or you disagree? Can you come up with your own ideas?

“You do get healthy relationships between a mother and a son… but if they are functioning from a place of anxiety or insecurity… that can be quite toxic.” 

– Dr Tumi Mashego, Clinical and Sports Psychologist

Scroll up to the audio player to listen to the discussion