The hidden grief of losing a child: Why parents must prioritise their healing

Losing a child brings a unique and profound grief, affecting not only a parent’s emotional wellbeing but also their sense of identity.

Experts say that while parents often focus on caring for others, prioritising their own grief is essential for healing and moving forward.

They will have to mourn the loss of future moments, imagine milestones, and find a balance between holding on to memories and letting go and moving on.

Dr Tumi Mashego, a clinical psychologist, says some parents cannot fully grieve because they have other responsibilities, and as a result, they start to act on 'autopilot'.

This is especially true if they have other children to look after.

These parents often feel they cannot put their own grief first; however, she says doing this is essential for them to be able to move forward and grow.

“It is important to educate people about making sure they are okay. Put oxygen on yourself first so you can help your children who remain to also process their intense emotions,” says Mashego.

If you know someone who is experiencing this loss, she says it is important to openly communicate, ask what they need, and ask if they are comfortable talking about the deceased.

To listen to Mashego in conversation with Clement Manyathela on 702, use the audio player below: