Is marriage still relevant today?

Aubrey Masango speaks to relationship and dating coach, Refiloe Khameli.

Listen below.

As society changes, so do the norms around marriage.

A census in 2022 revealed that fewer people are walking down the aisle.

The number of people who have never been married increased from 54% in 2011 to 64,2% in 2022, while couples who are legally married decreased from 29% to 24% during the same period.

It speaks to the current economy and the relevance of marriage in today’s world. 

In the past, marriage was often seen as a key milestone of success, but today’s society values different achievements.

“I don’t know if it’s just this region, but commitment is at an all-time low.”

- Refiloe Khameli, relationship coach

She adds that a woman’s role in a marriage has also changed significantly throughout the years, going from simply being a possession or trophy to being an active decision-maker.

“[Today] women do want a man, they do want to work and they do want to stay at home with the kids, but now it is a discussion.”

- Refiloe Khameli, relationship coach

The shift in gender roles can cause a rift with traditionalists but it is important to communicate and personalise your marriage so that both parties understand what is expected and are happy. 

“By nature, marriage used to only serve the man… this has led to a little friction between us [women] and our male counterparts because some view marriage as being very traditional.”

- Refiloe Khameli, relationship coach

“Discussions are around what it is [marriage] and how you can personalise it so that it is able to stand the test of time.

- Refiloe Khameli, relationship coach

“When it’s forced, not consensual and not reciprocative, that’s when things go left.”

- Refiloe Khameli, relationship coach

Scroll up to the audio player to listen to the discussion