A guide to flirting and seduction (and why it's important even within long-term relationships)

Clement Manyathela speaks to sex and pleasure educator, Lisa Welch.

Listen below.

Some people are naturally flirtatious while others need a little bit more help and guidance. 

It is a skill that we can develop over time and bring to our relationships. 

Flirting may be defined as more fun and casual, while seduction is more deliberate with an end goal, she suggests. 

“[Flirting] is usually spontaneous verbal cues like compliments or teasing. It can also be non-verbal cues… such as maintaining eye contact just long enough for that person to notice.”

- Lisa Welch, educator

“Seduction goes a little bit deeper, trying to create a stronger level of attraction or desire. It’s like playing a game, drawing someone in using your charms and confidence.”

- Lisa Welch, educator

Flirting and seduction are not only limited to the beginning stages of a relationship, says Welch.

Keep on ‘dating’ and flirting two, five, and even 10 years down the line.

“People think it sounds difficult or it's going to require a lot of money or effort… it can be such small changes and so fun, even in long-term relationships. Snap yourselves out of the idea that you already know each other.”

- Lisa Welch, educator

While flirting can seem fun it is important to look out for cues.

If someone indicates that they are uncomfortable with the situation or your remarks, respect their boundaries.

“Are they not happy? Is this unwanted? If you’ve been told this isn’t something that they want and you persist even if you’ve been asked to stop, that would be harassment.”

- Lisa Welch, educator

Scroll up to the audio player to listen to the discussion