On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your relationship this past year?

Thabo Shole Mashao spoke to relationship and marriage coach, Thabo Maatjie.

Listen to their conversation in the audio clip below.

If you were to evaluate your relationship over the last year, where would you rate it out of 10?

Maatjie says that it's important that you make time to evaluate your relationship, and that this process shouldn't only take place in December, but from the start of your relationship.

"What matters the most is that you need to know who you are with. What their strengths are, what their abilities are...so that you can know if you are able to grow together with this person...it's an ongoing process, not an event."

- Thabo Maatjie, relationship and marriage coach 

Maatjie explains that your relationship evaluation relates to your personal principles and boundaries.

"...we lay our principles and boundaries on the table, both of us, we engage on those. We negotiate what works better for us and what can we discard because they are not to the benefit of the relationship."

- Thabo Maatjie, relationship and marriage coach 

"It's a process of communication where you both need to negotiate the belief systems and your perceptions and expectations because one thing that kills a lot of relationships and the growing process is the fact that we expect people to know and understand what we want and how we want it. Just because you love me you need to know that I need to do this and do that. No, we need to engage on a daily basis..." 

- Thabo Maatjie, relationship and marriage coach 

Scroll up to listen to the full conversation