Renewing midlife: How to reignite your love life as you mature

Relebogile Mabotja speaks with marriage counselling facilitator Jabu Zwane.

Listen below:

Many people, when reflecting on their lives in their mid-40s, ask: "Is this it?" Or, "Is this the life I wanted with the person I wanted?"

These may be hard questions to consider.

Your midlife can become a time of rediscovery and renewal in your love life, and a time to ensure you go after what you want.

Whether you are single and looking for love or want to renew your marriage, you can reimagine love and intimacy in this stage of your life.

The key is using the maturity and confidence you have developed in your life to build stronger and deeper emotional connections.

For married couples, this can involve addressing unresolved conflicts, establishing regular date nights or getaways, and prioritising emotional and physical intimacy.

Zwane says it is also important to make sure you and your partner know and understand each other’s needs and interests.

“If you don’t know your partner's favourite food or show or hobby… If there are so many things that you don't know about them and yet so many of the things that you want are being satisfied, you must understand that more than likely the other person has settled.”

- Jabu Zwane, marriage counselling facilitator

He adds that it is also important to be intentional about physical intimacy with your partner and to do things for each other to keep the passion alive.

“It doesn't always have to be gymnastics... and now you need a hip replacement. It could just be that you are always doing it with the lights off, so let’s try it with the lights on.” 

- Jabu Zwane, marriage counselling facilitator

RELATED: Midlife health: Rewriting the rules one lifestyle change at a time

Intimacy does not always have to be physical; in fact, Zwane says keeping that element of friendship and fun in your relationship is key to maintaining the bond.

“Don't lose that fun element of friendship because that is actually where your intimacy starts, where you are made naked as far as emotions... it becomes easier for you to become naked physically.” 

- Jabu Zwane, marriage counselling facilitator

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