Surviving narcissistic abuse: Local programme offers support and coping tools

CapeTalk's Sara-Jayne Makwala King is joined by registered counsellor Tara du Plessis, co-facilitator of the programme.

Have you ever found yourself constantly walking on eggshells around someone because you're so wary of doing something 'wrong'? 

It could be a romantic partner, for instance, who makes you feel like you’re always the problem.

Or a parent who, even as an adult, leaves you doubting your own memory, your feelings, even your worth. 

RELATED: Navigating a relationship with a narcissist: What you need to know

This qualifies as narcissistic abuse, a form of psychological manipulation that can leave deep emotional scars.

Sara-Jayne Makwala King finds out about an initiative based in Cape Town's southern suburbs, that provides support for victims of this mistreatment.

The Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Programme, or SNAP, is a professionally facilitated space created to help people to find healing.

Registered counsellor Tara du Plessis says narcissistic abuse stems from an individual who's either diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or someone who simply displays narcissistic personality traits.

"Like with many illnesses, everything exists on a spectrum... but this kind of abuse tends to follow a pattern, starting with the idealization phase also called the 'honeymoon' phase or 'love bombing'. It's very common in romantic relationships or new friendships and work relationships; a little less common in a family situation with a really longstanding relationship."

Tara du Plessis, Registered Counsellor

"In this idealization phase there's generally a lot of positive regard, a lot of affection and affirmation... and the person feels maybe like your soulmate or someone that you really connect with."

Tara du Plessis, Registered Counsellor

This can be followed by what's called the devaluation phase, where you're taken off the pedestal that's been created by the other person. This is where the abuse starts to ramp up, du Plessis explains. 

SNAP offers the following:

•  A safe, confidential space to share and listen
• Psychoeducation on narcissistic abuse an trauma recovery
• Practical coping tools and emotional support
• Guidance from professional healthcare professionals

The next meeting takes place on Saturday 30 August in Constantia.

Venue: 12 Meadow Lane, Silverhurst

Time: 10:30 am to 12:30 pm

Cost: R250 

Contact: email Taracounsels@gmail.com

To hear more about narcissistic abuse and the recovery process, listen to the interview audio at the top of the article