Love vs lust: 'A healthy balance between the two is always great' – Relationship coach

Clement Manyathela interviews Linda Yende, Relationship Coach.

Listen below.

Starting a new relationship can be thrilling and evoke a host of positive emotions.

If you've recently begun dating someone, you might find yourself pondering: Is this love or just lust? 

Distinguishing between the two can be challenging.

While both love and lust are intense feelings, understanding their differences is crucial for navigating relationships.

"The dopamine and the excitement that you get will be almost identical and as such, you start confusing the two."

- Linda Yende, Relationship Coach

Lust tends to be primarily physical, focusing on sexual attraction without the desire for deeper emotional connection.

It can play a valuable role in a romantic relationship, provided it's expressed in healthy, safe and consensual ways. 

In contrast, love encompasses intimacy, vulnerability and a commitment to nurturing a stronger bond.

Yende explains it this way: People are often categorised as either one or the other – like the mother or father of your children, or someone you love deeply, which can lead to seeing them more as a partner than a sexual being.

On the other hand, you might have someone in your life whom you only see in a sexual light, without the desire to build a long-term relationship with them.

"It's very easy for someone to believe that they are in love when they are in fact in lust."

- Linda Yende, Relationship Coach

While lust is often mistaken for love, Yende says that the opposite can also happen: people may believe they're experiencing lust when, in fact, they are falling in love.

He points out that sex can feel even more incredible when it's shared with someone for whom you have genuine feelings, often leading to deeper emotional connections and the realisation that you've truly fallen in love.

"A healthy balance between the two is always great."

- Linda Yende, Relationship Coach

Scroll up to the audio player to listen to the interview.