‘Grace for Black men’: A debate dividing South Africa

A debate has erupted after media personalities Nandi Madida and Dineo Ranaka clashed over the singer's calls to “give black men grace”.

What began as an appeal for empathy has since widened into a broader conversation about gender, power and responsibility.

Madida’s comments, made on the L-Tido Podcast, spoke about the challenges – systemic, historic and present day – facing black men in South Africa.

But her comments did not land well with everyone, with some on social media saying the singer and TV personality was advocating for men not to take responsibility for their behaviour.

Relationship and life coach Dudu Nhlabathi-Madonsela says she's disappointed that many Black women failed to grasp the point Madida was making.

"I'm really, really disappointed in my sisters because what Nandi was trying to say is that we have to try and understand the context of the world the Black man lives in."

Nhlabathi-Madonsela says far from trying to absolve Black men from responsibility, she was asking that more empathy is extended to them in their healing.

"I always talk about receiving people with care, before you come to a conclusion, before you assign a red flag, receive people with care and that's what I understood from her."

One social media user, who spoke out in support of Madida, wrote that those who have not embarked on their own healing would not understand what the singer was getting at.

Nhlabathi-Madonsela agrees.

"If you've not healed, you will understand what Nandi said as allowing Black men to get away with bad behaviour, and that is definitley not what she was saying."

The relationship expert suggest that many people responded with emotions, rather that listening to the core of what Madida was saying.

"I think that as a collective of Black people, we need to accept that we are a highly traumatised collective... we have normalised living from a perspective of survival, so we underplay how traumatised we are."

Critics, including Ranaka, argue that empathy without accountability risks excusing harmful behaviour and reinforcing inequality.

To listen to Duduzile Nhlabathi-Madonsela in conversation with 702 & CapeTalk's Aubrey Masango, click the audio below: